Thoughts About Our Stuff

It’s amazing how much our behavior can mirror that of our parents, especially as we grow older.  I have obviously acquired traits from both Mom and Dad, both good and bad.  I use some of the same expressions as my dad, such as “that’s crazy”, with a long drawn out “a”.  In my younger days, I probably exhibited some of the temper for which he was notorious in his younger days.  By God’s grace, we both tamed that to some degree, in our later years.

I think, or at least I hope, I have inherited some of Mom’s compassion.  I know my passionate love for my family is something I learned from her.  Mom was one of the kindest, most gentle people I ever knew.  But the one thing that could make my mom go into full Grizzly mode was for someone to mistreat or criticize one of her cubs.  She was kind and gentle, but she was anything but weak when it came to her family. I believe that’s true of me, as well as my children.  It’s also probably true of most of you.

Mom never spoke negatively of others (I can’t claim that in my life.  I’m working on it, but progress is slow).  In that regard, I’m probably more like my dad, who struggled all his life to tame his tongue.  He was kind and giving, especially in his later years, but could demonstrate a critical tongue, especially when angered or slighted.  Dad also made a lot of progress in that area as he aged, but I’m not sure he ever conquered that weakness.  I haven’t conquered it either.  But I am making progress.  Slow, but progress, nonetheless.

I don’t wear new clothing easily.  I enjoy buying new things to wear, or receiving them as a gift, but I tend to put them away to “save” for the right occasion.  Mom must have done the same.  When she passed away, we found a closet filled with unworn dresses and shoes.  Most still had the tags on them.  We gave some to family and friends, and the rest we passed along to one of the organizations that helps those in need.  So even though Mom never wore them, they went to good use.  I guess she just put them away for a rainy day.  I tend to put things back, planning to wear them some day when they’re not “new”.

Maybe it’s because Mom grew up so poor, that in her later years when money was a little more available, she enjoyed buying things.  Don’t misunderstand.  Mom was not extravagant.  She didn’t buy designer clothing.  She bought basic things, and she did wear much of it.  She enjoyed dressing her best for Sunday morning, for graduations and other special events.  So, it wasn’t the fact that she bought nice things from time to time.  It was just surprising to find so much that she had left untouched.

But I shouldn’t be surprised.  If you look in my closet, you will find a little of the same.  I have pants that I bought when my waistline was a little smaller that still have tags on them.  I didn’t wear them when I could, and now I’m saving them for when I can.  I also have shirts from Jimmy Buffett and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band concerts that went from the souvenir table to a clothes hanger.  When I look for a shirt, they seem to stare back at me, just asking to be worn.  Instead, they are simply admired.  The “Field of Dreams” shirt that I treasure, always reminds me of my love for baseball and my trip to the site of that movie.  Ray Kinsella would not be pleased.  The race shirts from my marathon days and other notable races continue to gather dust.  I have justified saving those by saying I’ll use them to make a runner’s quilt, but today, they hang silently in my closet.

And tools.  I’m not referring to large things like table saws or expensive shop tools, but rather to small power tools and basic work tools.  I have a weakness when I see a deal on wrenches, screwdrivers, and especially tape measures.  You see, I am not a handyman.  I have severe limitations on what I know how to repair, but I probably have the tools to do the job.  As a result, some of them have never seen the light of day.  So, if you ever come to help me with a project, don’t bring any tools.  I probably have what you need.

I’m not a hoarder, at least I don’t think I am.  I don’t buy things in bulk quantities, but rather as they catch my eye.  They seem to say, ‘you will need me someday”.  That results in an excess over time, but I also dispose of things, especially clothing (which I then forget I gave away and causes me to annoy my wife when I ask what happened to that shirt).  Also, some older tools have found their way to a yard sale table.  Further, clutter annoys me to no end, so to store these things that I am reluctant to use, I’m also thinking of how to best organize them.  I have limited closet space and a limited workshop area, so it can be a problem.  Maybe that’s why I spend a lot of time organizing and re-organizing.

I’m convinced that having stuff we don’t or can’t use is wrong.  I should use those tools, wear those shirts, or make the stinking quilt!  I still remember how difficult it was to clear out everything when my dad passed away.  Even after my siblings and I had removed everything we could use, there was much to be hauled and given away.  The same was true when my wife’s mom passed a couple of years back.  I really don’t want that for my children.  I want to make that part of my passing easier for them.

Plus, I really like some of those shirts!  How can a Jimmy Buffett or Nitty Gritty Dirt Band shirt not be cool?  And really, who else is going to want to wear my race shirts.  I don’t wear race shirts for a race I didn’t run in or that I did not direct.  Not criticizing those who do, but that’s how I am.  I’ve given many of those away and hope that they have also been put to good use.

Why am I writing this?  Is it cathartic?  Maybe.   Maybe I’m just rebuking myself for this behavior.

My travel abroad on mission endeavors also likely plays a part in my thinking.  I have been in places where my throwaways would be greatly valued and used.  And I know the same is true to some degree in our own communities.   I’m not lecturing anyone else on how you use the things you’ve been given.  That’s your business.  I’m just sharing that I need to use what I have or pass it along.

There’s nothing wrong with owning nice things, even in abundance.  God blesses us with more than we deserve, and usually with more than we need.  I believe we should accept those blessings with thanksgiving and use them to bless others.  I’m just addressing my own feelings about me personally.  Maybe you feel the same way.  Maybe you don’t.  It’s something to think about.

So, I’m going to try to do better on both the buying side and the using side.  If I buy it, I need to use it.  If I don’t use it, I should put it in the hands of someone who will. 

But don’t expect to see anyone wearing my Jimmy Buffett or Nitty Gritty Dirt Band shirts.  Those won’t be passed along any time soon.  I’ll be wearing those until they are as threadbare as my old Pompano Joe’s shirt, for all you Destin beachcombers.

Be blessed and share your blessings.  See you again soon.

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