65. But Who’s Counting?

I will turn 65 in a few weeks, Lord willing.  That’s not a major announcement.  It is a simple fact.

As I approach this “milestone”, I am surprised that it has arrived so quickly and so uneventfully.  I’ve often heard others say the same thing.  It’s a little like finding out that the refrigerator in the kitchen which you thought you bought year before last, is actually 20 years old.

I’m not saddened by another flip of the calendar page.  I’ve come to believe that age is a number, nothing more, nothing less.  I know that’s a cliché, but I’m believing it more with each passing day.  And while numbers are important (I am an accountant, after all), they never tell the full story.  For example, that small business that barely pays the bills but which brings great joy and satisfaction to its owner may have more true value than a thriving enterprise where there is pressure, anxiety and frustration.  Now, I realize that may sound a little naïve, but again, I’m almost 65, so if I want to be naïve, then I’ll be naïve.

I believe I am a young 65, with a body and mind that is still in its early 40’s (unless you count that forgetfulness thing).  I’m not saying it’s true, but I have convinced myself, even if no one else is buying it.  In any case, I am thankful that I don’t feel 65.  (Of course, I don’t know how 65 is supposed to feel anyway.)  And while I attribute some of the blessings of good health to the many miles I have run and walked over the years, and the periodic, yet inconsistent hours I have spent in the gym, it is ultimately a gift from God.  It is purely of grace.

Do I tire a little more easily?  Probably.  Do I need more rest?  I suppose.  Do I overdo it more often than I should?  I don’t think so, but you might ask my wife that question.  And while the change is certain and subtle, I it’s not as significant as I expected it would be 25 years ago.

Did I mention I was more forgetful?  Can’t remember if I did or not.  But if I am, it is only those things that have happened in recent years.  All of my childhood memories are pretty much intact and I can still remember much more than I’ve forgotten.  I still know almost every word to every Tom T. Hall song, or at least his hits.  And I still listen to the Rolling Stones.  And Bob Dylan gets cooler every time I hear him.  (I love old rockers.)  But that’s a story for another day.

My life has been and continues to be blessed.  These blessings include a loving wife who has been my anchor for more than 44 years.  Our children, their spouses and our grandchildren are a source of joy and laughter.  They keep me younger than I really am.  Yes, God has truly been gracious to me far beyond what I deserve.  But isn’t that true of all of us?  Isn’t that what grace is?

I hope I’m wiser.  I think I am, at least about some things.  If I have wisdom, I don’t know to what degree or when it started.  But surely life has taught me a few things.  I hope so, because I have a lot of opinions.

But completing a Medicare application does make one realize that it’s probably time to reflect on how a life has been lived and what he or she hopes to accomplish in the years ahead, should the good Lord choose to grant them.  I know that I want to use my remaining years as wisely as possible.  I’ve been giving that a lot of thought, actually.  I feel like I have a fair number of years left, Lord willing.  Only He knows for sure.  And I plan to use the next few weeks setting goals for 2019 and beyond, that will allow me to hopefully make the best of those upcoming years.

With that in mind, my action plan includes the following:

• What is important?  What is not?  Some things simply aren’t.
• Prioritize to allow time to relax, but not too much.
• Prioritize to allow for more time for my wife.
• Prioritized to spend more time with my children and grandchildren. I realize I need to slip away from work a little more often to share more special moments with them.
• Prioritize to make sure I commit an appropriate amount of time for my service to my Lord and His church, and related mission work.
• Prioritize to use more time to help and serve others.
• Prioritize to guarantee more time to teach and encourage.
• Prioritize to establish a plan to allow me to reclaim some of the joys of my younger days, like running, for example.

If you’ll notice, I said I need to “prioritize” to allow or spend more time, not “make” more time.  We don’t get to make time; we only have an option to use it wisely.

There are also some things I don’t want to do.

• I don’t want to lose my passion for the well-being of my family. I want to be a positive influence and example for them in all things.
• I pray that I don’t lose my passion for my Savior and his calling on my life.
• I never want to lose my passion for life, in general.
• I don’t want to abandon my desire to do all I can to remain healthy and keep my body and mind as young as possible. I want those young guys at the gym to look at the “old guy” who is here almost every day and know that you never have to quit.
• I dare not lose my enjoyment of Christmas and all its trimmings. And as long as my kids and grandkids help, my house and yard will light up at during the Christmas season.
• I don’t want to lose any of those things, within my control, that make life such a blessing

I also want to be less concerned about the expectations of others.  Looking back, I’ve probably given too much thought to what others think.  Sometimes that was the right thing to consider, sometimes it wasn’t.

I plan to resist the notion of “retirement”.  It’s probably all right for some people, but I don’t think I want to ever completely stop working.  I love what I do.  I love that team of people I work with.  Sure, I may need to cut back to accomplish the goals I am setting, but I don’t know that I ever want to not get up and go to work.

I also am going to work harder at saying “no”.  It’s OK to do that sometimes.  It really is.  I don’t have to do everything that others ask of me.  I get to choose, at least to some degree.  Thank you in advance for understanding.  But if you don’t understand, that won’t change my answer.  It’s still “no”.

I guess I could have said this with fewer words.  That’s a lesson I’m still learning.  But sometimes less is not better.  You be the judge in this instance.

Simply put, I’m excited about this stage of my life.  I am a young man who has had a lot of birthdays.  I like that way of putting it.  I stole it from one of my doctors, actually.  Every day is a blessing.  I want to live like that.  I think that’s wisdom.  And I don’t think I truly understood that when I was younger.  Yes, I screamed “carpe diem” often when running marathons and doing things I don’t do as much now.  But the words don’t ring quite as shallow now.  Is that wisdom?  Maybe.

My dad had his struggles in life, but he finished well.  I told him that many times in his last few months.  I want that to be said of me.

I’ve been given much in this life.  I’ve squandered more of my life than I should.  I want to squander less of it going forward.

I hope this doesn’t seem like a sad blog.  I really do.  Because I’m smiling as I type it.  I’m grinning as I think about my renewed commitment to living life as wisely and fully as possible.  And I’m just plain laughing at the reaction some of my family members and friends will have as they read this. Those who know me best will understand.

Look.  I don’t want this to be preachy.  I can’t tell you how to view your life and the changing stages.  But if you were to ask, I would repeat another cliché.  Life is a gift.  It truly is.  Some of our lives are easier than others.  I don’t have answers for that, even at the wise old age of almost 65.  But I do know that we can only make the best of what we’ve been given. And that’s something I’ve only been able to learn by having lots of birthdays (and making more than my share of mistakes).

You’re never too young to evaluate and to navigate a new course.  You’re also never too old.  As a matter of fact, this is likely my last blog as a young 64 year-old.  But I pray that I have many more as a 65 year-old and beyond.

God bless, you.  Thanks for reading.