This week marked two years since we lost Jimmy Buffett. It’s become easier to discuss him, his legacy and his death, but it has taken a while, at least for me. This is my story about finally returning to some of my favorite music and to my favorite singer.
Today is June 23, 2024. It’s been less than a year since I awoke to the news that Jimmy Buffett was no longer with us. As I shared, in a previous column (https://lifeandmiles.com/sail-on-sailor-my-tribute-to-jimmy-buffett), it had hit me hard. During the months following his death, I haven’t listened to his music. It’s simply been too hard. Other fans have dealt with his death in their own ways, some by binging on his songs and videos for hours and even days after hearing the news. Others listened continuously to Radio Margaritaville on SiriusXM. I chose to grieve by depriving myself of his music. It was no longer the same. I suppose it’s because I could always see him in his music, laughing, making inappropriate comments, and being who he was. That, at least for me, was gone. Looking back, I was probably wrong. It might have been easier to process the loss, re-engage with the music and move on.
But on this day, it just happened. If there was a right time, this was it. If there was a right place, this was it.
Watching the sun rise as I set up the tents for the first beach day of our family vacation, I am in my best place. It’s a glorious Sunday morning, and I’m reflecting on how thankful I am that all fifteen of us are together for this annual gathering at St. George Island.
With the work done I wade into the water and simply stand in the waves. I’m alone on the beach. A hopeful fisherman came down earlier and made a few casts. Having no success, he has finally anchored his rods and gone back inside.
I think about what Gail had said on the drive down. “You know you just may have to listen to…” I knew what she was about to say, and cut her off. “I know. It’s fine. Everyone can listen to Jimmy Buffett if they want to.” She and all my family knew that I had not listened to any Jimmy Buffett music or watched any videos since his death on September 1 of last year. I suppose it was an unspoken rule that the subject was off-limits. I never asked my family to avoid the subject or the music of Jimmy, but they seemed to know I was still grieving.
Making my way back to my beach chair, I sit quietly and begin to think about Jimmy Buffett and my lifelong love of his music. I reflect on my favorite song. It is and will always be “A Pirate Looks at Forty”. The live version of his “Feeding Frenzy” album is perfect. It’s even better than the original. I suppose this is my favorite because I do claim a degree of piratehood. It’s a common bond. I’ve never sailed the seas or pillaged another ship, but in another life, I might have. I think deep down, that’s who I could have been.
But this morning, another song is in my head. I catch myself singing, “It’s Been a Lovely Cruise”. I would guess this is my second favorite Jimmy Buffett song. At some point, I realized that I wanted to hear him sing it. So, using my phone, I hop on to YouTube and find a video. I’m still a little apprehensive. Fighting back the urge to say, “not yet” I press play. As the musical introduction and then the voice of Jimmy Buffett float through the air, I realize that it is not as hard as I had feared. Yes, my eyes tear up a little, and I’m sad, but I realized that it’s OK. Losing things and people that have played a part in our life will always be sad, as it should be.
And as he sang, “These moments we’re left with, may we always remember, these moments are felt by a few,” I know it’s time to say goodbye and admit he was gone. But I’m also reminded of the multitude of memories with my family, many of them at this very beach, memories that include his music. It’s time to both say goodbye and welcome him back.
I never met Jimmy Buffett, and only saw him in concert once, but I’m confident that he wants us to continue to listen to his music as we always have. His songs make us smile, laugh, and enjoy those people and places, especially those people we call family and friends. As Mac McAnally and others close to him have reminded us, Jimmy said “keep the party going.” And for each of us, that party will be different. I’m not a party person in the truest sense of the word, and probably a little more restrained than many others in the Parrothead community, but in my own way, I’ll do what I can.
Each morning for the rest of the family vacation, I listened to one of my favorites or one of his newer songs that I had not heard. The newer one was from his last album, “Equal Strain on All Parts.” Sounds like the title of a Jimmy Buffett album, doesn’t it?”
As I mentioned, my first step back was listening to “It’s Been a Lovely Cruise.” I had chosen a live version. The rest of the week went as follows:
- Monday – “A Pirate Looks at Forty” (“Feeding Frenzy version)
- Tuesday – “Bubbles Up“
- Wednesday – “Breathe In, Breath Out, Move On”
- Thursday – “He Went to Paris”
- Friday – “Come Monday”
So yes, I was finally able to say goodbye to Jimmy Buffett, because that’s what I had not done. I was struggling to accept that he was really gone. It’s still hard, but I’m making progress. I owe it to him, to my family, and especially to my oldest grandson Brandon, who is also a Parrothead and potential pirate.
So, Jimmy, I’m doing my best. I’ve taken the first step and will continue to make my way back to your music. Some days they’ll be baby steps. And while saying goodbye was important, I know now that I can still appreciate what you’ve given to us. I’ll always be thankful for the songs, the videos, and the memories you left for us to enjoy. I’ll always be thankful for the times that I’ve sung along. I’ll be thankful for my family’s enjoyment of your music.
No, it’s not the same, but it’s good. It’s very good. And yes, Jimmy Buffett, it has been a lovely cruise.