In my previous post (https://lifeandmiles.com/the-week-i-stopped-mowing), I shared my decision to hire someone else to mow my lawn. As I indicated, it was a hard decision, but the right one. And so far, the change is working surprisingly well. I was able to make a trip out of town to visit two of our grandchildren without worrying about getting the lawn mowed and trimmed before we left town. That was actually pretty nice.
I’ve also been able to work on some other things I’ve been putting off, such as getting my garage reorganized, spending a little more time on a couple of new interests (more on those at a future time), and staying out of the heat. I’ve also been able to work a few more hours at the office, which I enjoy, to offset the cost of the mowing.
So, with the obvious benefits, why was this decision so hard? It wasn’t the cost, although that was certainly a consideration. But I was able to justify that part of the decision quickly. And it sure wasn’t a concern with how to fill the extra time. As indicated above, I have a long list of things to fill that void which don’t require the physical strain and the stress of an undependable mower.
In my opinion, my decision came down to three factors, not necessarily in this order. Nonetheless, I’ll tackle them in this order.
- Change
- Aging
- Pride
As I also stated in Part 1, I like change, as long as I can control it. It’s those changes that are thrust upon me, or that I am forced to make by others or by external factors that are difficult. I wasn’t forced to make the change regarding my lawn. As I have often boasted to my wife, children, and grandchildren, “there may come a day when I can’t mow this lawn, a day when I can’t edge the driveway, a day when I can’t weed eat around the pond, a day when I can’t cut massive trees with a chainsaw, and so on and so on, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY!” (I actually stole that from Aragorn’s speech at the Black Gate in “Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.”) My boast is not as dramatic, but a boast regardless. It’s true that I could have continued to manage these jobs, assuming the Lord continues to bless me with good health, for several more years. And the issue of the troublesome mower would be easy enough to resolve. But, the growing list of things I want to do, the potential toll on my physical well-being at seventy-one, and an awareness that the list exceeded the available time required a change. I hope as I get older, I get wiser. I hope I am more intentional regarding the use of my time. Part of that is making these kinds of decisions before they are made for me.
Aging is an elephant in the room. I’m not getting younger, and I’m certain that there are other changes to encounter along the way. Although my wife and I enjoy a measure of good health, we are aware that time takes a toll, and that toll comes exponentially faster as we get older. And we will embrace those changes as we have to. Many are good. Some are not so good. But all are beneficial. Aging is not unique to us. It’s been going on for a long time. We observed it with our parents. We’re seeing it with our friends. It’s as much a part of life as birth, and it’s not to be dreaded. I’m learning that. It has its advantages. One is that I only care about the opinions of those people I trust. I worry less about impressing people or listening to the masses. Still, getting older necessitates change. The nature of those changes varies for all of us, but we can’t avoid them. And we need not fear them. They are merely a part of the journey.
The final obstacle to change is pride. And it’s the big one. I battle it in every aspect of my life. I tend to think very highly of myself. I also tend to think often of myself. And there are times when I think exclusively of myself. But I’m learning. As a believer, I believe the promise in Scripture that God is making me in the image of his son (Romans 8:29). That is a process that we call sanctification. It is a life-long journey, it’s difficult, and the biggest foe is pride. God says much about pride. In fact, James 4:6 says clearly that God opposes the proud. That should be a sobering thought for all of us.
I’ll never fully defeat pride in this life, but I can resist it. I can battle it. And by God’s grace, I will occasionally experience victory over it. I’ll eventually gain total victory, but that won’t occur in this life. But I am learning that I need to guard against letting my pride have undue influence when it attempts to keep me from making wise decisions, and when it hinders me from making necessary changes.
I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have even a few of the answers. Sometimes, I don’t even have the right questions. But I am learning to listen to my body, to my friends and family, and to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. And that means change. And those changes are all good. And as I align my thinking with that of wise friends and family, and primarily with the teachings of Scripture, I find myself accepting, if not embracing the necessary changes. Call it growth, call it experience, or call it wisdom. I need it. So do you. I just hope you are a little less stubborn than I tend to be.
This is not a call to surrender. Absolutely not. I’ll still be in the gym regularly. I’ll still be watching my diet. I’ll still be walking and jogging. And I’ll still be writing these blogs. Who knows, I may even author the great American novel (or at least a short story here and there). And all of these will be better because they are the right choices.
So, I tip my hat to change. I tip my hat to experience. And I tip my hat to intentionality. I want to benefit from all three. That’s the journey I’m on. I hope you’re on that same journey, and I especially hope our paths cross along the way.
Keep growing. Keep changing.